Finding your way forward. An exercise.

The journey to get there requires two points: where you are and where you want to go. This exercise may help.

Step 1. Write your obituary at this point in time.  (an obituary is your mini biography)

• List family members and meaningful relationships.

• Describe who you are, general biographical information, and accomplishments.

• Make it personal and accurate.

• What would be said at your eulogy?

• What will others say about you - How will you be remembered?

Be brave and curious. Ask family and friends if it rings true. What are you missing? 

The present obituary is the “you are here” point on the map. It does not include the potential of what you could do only what you did do up till this point in time.

Step 2. Write your future Obituary. This is what you want your life to reflect at the end. 

Use the same list and questions as above but from your future lived life, the life you want to live. What made you laugh, what made you cry?

The future obituary is your desired destination - The who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. With each item ask, is this truly who I want to be?

The gap between these two points is your journey from present to future self. To prepare for the journey:

What steps will you take?

What skills will you need?

What obstacles might you encounter?

What help will you need?

Who will accompany you?

How will you proceed when the way is hard?

What beliefs will you need to change?

What brings you joy?

Who have you become?

The next step is yours.

leadership presence

Working with leaders

When leaders want to work on their leadership presence, I first ask if they are present?

This 10-second 2-question exercise provides a shortcut to being present in any moment:

First ask yourself, Where am I in space and time?

Second, Am I present in this moment?

There is no judgement just observation. The act of observation alters the behavior of the observed.

The first step of having presence is to be present.

We must exist before we can be or do.

I work with leaders who want to create the organization of tomorrow today!

The Nature of Leadership: Individual & team Leadership coaching

#leadership #selfawareness #leadershipdevelopment #leadershippresence 

I work with leaders who want to create the organization of tomorrow today!

The Nature of Leadership: Individual & team Leadership coaching

Your 2023 journey preflection

Over the years I have modified the how I ask coaching clients what they want to achieve in our time together. I have found this simple preflection/reflection will also work well as a guide for the year ahead.

Ask yourself “at the end of the year how will I be different in theses 4 areas of life?”

Physical - health, safety, financial etc. 

Social/emotional - belonging, relationship, community

Spiritual/psyche - life purpose

Personal/cognitive - actualization, identity, esteem

Throughout the year watch for leading indicators of progress.

At the end of the year review your journey, Rate each area 1-5 if you need a measurement of progress. Describe what was helpful and what was a deterrent as you moved through the year. 

Reflect on how this experience will inform how you move forward in the future.

Happy New Year.

Powerful questions and Nature-based coaching

A little knowledge is dangerous!

Check in with yourself

How am I? 

What is my body doing? 

What are my thoughts doing? 

What emotions am I having? 

What do I need right now? 

Where am I in relation to this present moment?

Years ago on the lecture circuit I talked at conferences and events about the use of powerful questions. I received a lot of great feedback on my presentation. As time went on people would approach me to tell me how they were using the tools I gave them. After hearing their stories, I eventually made the conscious decision to stop giving the powerful questions talk. Despite explicit explanation of what not to do, I found people were misusing powerful questions. Questions misused became interrogation. Frequently using questions as a way to exert power or escape responsibility. The underlying cause was employing the use of powerful questions without taking the time and discipline to master the tool. In Nature-based coaching mastery of powerful questions is evident by how often it is not used. A single question may take hours to form. A question is used to create space, not to fill space. A good question will linger on, often well beyond the coaching session. Now, when I talk about powerful questions, I focus on the importance of listening not asking.

Some not so powerful questions to help to create space:

• What do you see? (Observation)

• What could you do? (Possibilities - in & out of the box)

• What will you do? (take Action)

• What are you experiencing? (Being in the moment)

• Where would you like to take the conversation (Agency)

Questions come in a wide variety of forms including powerful questions. I am a big fan of powerful questions used well. They are a tool to use. It is our responsibility to know how and when to use them.  

Before falling back on the coaching tool of powerful questions ask:

• What is the purpose of the question being asked?

  • Not all questions are coaching questions.

• Will this question expand or diminish thinking?

  • It is better to share observations instead of a question that could derail a deeper exploration?

• Is this question driving an (your) agenda?

  • What is behind your inquiry?

• Does this question imply there is a right answer?

  • The need to have the answer is a limiting belief.

• Does this question generate connection or separation?

  • How can you expand and/or contract the conversation without asking a question?

A Nature-based coach limits but does not abandon the use of powerful questions. There is a delicate balance. Questions are used sparingly like a seasoning, mixing and blending the right quantity to enhance the pallet. Or to tease out an undertone.  Questions can become overpowering. The wrong line of questioning can ruin the moment - recover is another skill to practice. Through practice and experience we learn when to question. Less is more. Sprinkled into conversations the right use of questions are indeed a powerful tool. A strategically placed question may go unnoticed by the client as it seeps into the soil working its magic over time. 

Listening to nature we find source materials surround us. Nature continually offers opportunity for curiosity. Understanding how to flow with what nature is freely providing is where the Nature-based coach finds the balance to work with nature in service of the client.

The Dance of Doing vs Being

Do - Be

Not all powerful questions are traditional questions.

When clients bring up the topic of being (vs, and, or) doing I give them this graphic. I don’t provide any initial instruction. I let them explore what emerges for them.

As they ascribe meaning we explore.

They may identify where they are or where they want to be. Or they may label each quadrant with a description of what it is like to be in that quadrant.

The conversation might be about how being and doing are not on the same continuum but you can have increments of both simultaneously.

Let the client lead. The graphic is just a catalyst to inspire deeper reflection.

I came up with this simple tool after hearing people say “stop doing and start being.” That statement always bothered me.

We are always in a state of both.

That is the dance.

Have you become too comfortable?

Have you become too comfortable?

The coaching journey asks us to grow by stepping out of our comfort zone. A coach must be able to model this behavior.

I often use adventures in the wilderness to push my boundaries of what is comfortable. With the wild as my go to for pushing limits, perhaps I have become too comfortable with how I push myself to grow as an individual, as a leader, and as coach.

After some deep self-reflection I wondered where I might explore a different aspect of expression that was not as adrenaline driven. To begin the discovery I have picked up some watercolor paint and paper. I am curious to see what a contemplative outlet has to offer. And how might this fresh perspective bring more value to how I show up as a coach for my leadership clients.

Have you become too comfortable? What might you explore that is unfamiliar? Let the exploration unfold.

I work with leaders and leadership teams who want to create the workplace of tomorrow today.

The Nature of Leadership - A journey to resilience.

#leadership #leadershipdevelopment #selfawareness #stressmanagement #executivecoaching #leadershipcoaching #conflictmanagement #delegation #teamcoaching #teamdevelopment 

Agile and Organizational Maturity

One question to rule them all (an occasional series)

Agile and Organizational Maturity

Asking powerful questions is not trading “telling” for asking more questions. Asking powerful questions is asking the right question at the right time, unattached to any outcome, and listening for what naturally emerges.

Lately I see many people and organizations subscribing to long surveys as they attempt to collect massive amounts of data to get insight into their team culture and agile maturity. What would happen if we asked one powerful question in place of trolling multiple question surveys?

What one question can inform us about our organizations adaptability, our agile maturity, and even individual blindspots that lead to rigidity? After playing with this for a while my one question to rule them all to gauge maturity became:

"How painful is change?"

How painful is change in your organization, on your team, or in your life?

This question is often followed by a soulful quiet. For a brief moment time stands still as perspectives begin to shift. The silence is usually broken with clarifying questions from the field about what kind of change. These residual questions from the team begin to shine a light into areas where maturity has stagnated and needs attention. A secondary inquiry might follow with "where is change painful" or "what is causing this pain?"

What is your level of agile maturity?

- why I coach

A great powerful question is not intended to provide all the answers. A powerful question changes our perspective of the playing field. The right question shifts context and illuminates the shadows.